The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a
loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack
Schitt." After reading this, you can intellectually handle
the situation.
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe
Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the
owner of Kneedeep N. Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt
married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple
produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva
Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deep Schitt and Dip
Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married
Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. After being married
5 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later
married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living with
them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then
known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Loda
Schitt, and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable
throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens
brothers in a dual ceremony. The Schitt-Happens children
were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal
son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned
from Italy with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.
So now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt",
you can correct them, and perhaps tell them about Wydonya
Kismyahs.
- Author Unknown